Day 20: The last argument I had, was yesterday morning with my mother because she was being ridiculous.
Day 21: Something that you can’t get over.
Some of these questions stink but some are good and hard to answer. I guess my past in a way. They say that women date the same people over and over again. Unfortunately when I go over my pass I realize this is true. Less than a week ago I saw a stage crash down and felt what it was to feel the need to run for my life. I didn’t know what was exactly happening over my shoulder…I didn’t know if pieces of that stage were going to come flying at me I had no idea.
I didn’t have a life flash before my life moment it was more like a every person I cared about went through my head for a second. I can honestly say none of those guys that I can’t seem to let go were in that bunch of people. My mom, my closest friends, my nieces n nephew, my brother n his wife, my sis, my dad, my grandma, my family, and my boys went through my head.
Not those guys that broke me over and over for the last several years. Sunday night when I really sat there and every thing hit me. So many people contacted me to make sure I was ok, even people I have only known a few months. I mean I can honestly say at least fifty people went out of their way to contact me in the first 24 hours even knowing I was ok. That’s a pretty significant number of people. That really means a lot and hits you…lets you know that you’re doing something right.
Even so you can’t help but let your mind go to those that didn’t call. There are a few I didn’t expect to call….but there is one that I would have thought would have been one of the first to contact me. Even though he didn’t go thru my mind. So I guess that thing I can’t let go of its my past of dumb men and the ones that are most recent. Although I know I need to….
“If I said I was truly over you,
My heart would say amen,
But I give in to the cold caress of 2AM.
If I admit I can’t get use to this…
Will my heart break again as I fall…
Into the waiting arms of 2AM.”